There was an ad when I was little, for a bathroom cleaner. It's still around, you all know about it – Dow Scrubbing Bubbles, those fat, round-topped little creatures, their feet a whirring of suds too fast to see. The ads still exist. The bubbles are cheerful, smiling, as they swarm across the linoleum and the chrome. But the ads were very different when I was small -- they were ravening, mouths full of teeth, fierce eyes blazing as they surrounded and tore apart germs and dirt. “With Killer Enzymes!” the ads proclaimed, and in my toddler bed I would wake crying from nightmares, sobbing out the word “enzymes” to my puzzled mother.
No ghosts or monsters for me, oh no. I'm the child who was frightened of enzymes.
We have NO AIR-CONDITIONING at work. It is going to hit 100 degrees again today, the building is literally packed with students waiting to be seen, and it is already so hot I can barely breathe. Surely they will not make us work in this. If it isn't fixed by midmorning, I'm going home, and Peak Registration be damned.
It is just so fucking hot here. 100 degrees today, with humidity so high it was like walking through oil.
You know, I'm a frugal gal in most respects, and I try to be an environmental one as well. I clean with vinegar and baking soda, I dry clothes on the line, and I use fans and open windows for as long into the summer as I can (which around here, is early May - maybe). But there are two aspects of a South Carolina summer that I just cannot live with, no matter how much energy and/or chemicals are involved. One is roaches. Big fat palmetto roaches, nope, I bomb them to hell and back and I call in the shock troops (i.e Terminex) with regularity as needed.
The other is the FUCKING HEAT. I don't know what a good substitute for freon might be, but until they come up with one, I am on the pipe. It's cool in my house and it's going to stay that way. When it comes to AC, I say crank it and spank it until it gives up the goods through every vent. Yes, I loves me some AC.
I've been a laissez-faire blogger up till recently. However, for obvious reasons, this journal is now friends-only.
who knew me in my salad days and still likes me in my steamed cabbage days!
a new groovy pal (who's gonna land me in Gitmo when we start discussing fascist 'Murka over falafel)!
(btw,Tin, when we talked on the phone today I didn't realize it was your b-day. Have a happy!)
Very weird bit of coolness today.
As part of my orientation for the new job, I've been taken to tour all the GTC regional campuses and centers. I was at one today, getting the full rundown of all the programs/stats/plans/expansions/capaciti
es/etc and nodding and asking the sort of Searching and Pertinent questions that indicate your Committment to the Mission, when all of a sudden...
...down the hall came a woman, a familiar looking woman, all in black with bobbed hair and big eyes, looking remarkably like...
"Holy shit!" I thought. "That's tinhuviel
And so it was. I had recognized her from LJ photos. So I just, well, I guess I actually accosted her, because she looked freaked out at first when I said "Tin! You're Tin! I'm Mizliz!" Well, I was
all in office gear and looking more severe than is my off-hours wont. It would have freaked me out too.
So, Tin, I hope I didn't freak you out too bad, and Pita House is definitely on. Maybe Monday, just let me know. :)
Ok, so I've been silent for quite some time. Updating is in order.
Let me 'splain. No - there is too much. Let me sum up.
D and I are now officially separated, and everything is moving forward with that. He has an apartment, and we are sharing custody of Sara on a week on - week off basis. Things are pretty amiable in general, and I have to admit to a certain sense of relief now that all the toxicity and D's general fog of misery has dissipated. I don't think a reconciliation is in the cards; although I'd be willing to try, he's not. He had agreed to go to one of those weekend encounter things, but has since declined.
What precipitated this whole separation, and subsequent unwillingness to consider working on reconciliation, was his rediscovery of an old lost love, who is now the focus of all his future thoughts and plans. It hurt terribly at the time and still does a bit, but I am starting to feel, oddly enough, a strange sense of gratitude towards this woman. D has been miserable for a long time, but unwilling to address it or do anything about it. Just sat on the fence, never making a decision to either jump away or commit himself to really working on us. He could have eaten up 20 more years of my life this way, because I am an endurer and had made a decision a while back to work with what I had. Anyway, the shoe has dropped, and I am now free of it in good conscience, whatever regrets I am still dealing with.
He's being very decent about the money and everything, and has me set up with an automatic draft from his paycheck of 45%. I've needed every penny since I've been unemployed for two months due to my position being eliminated due to grant funding and budget cuts. But I've accepted a position at Greenville Tech and start tomorrow, yay! I won't move up right away, so commuting will suck. But my daughter has been disrupted enough for right now and I want her to stay in her familiar school until she finishes this year.
Loss is often a starting point for growth and new opportunities. I don't want to sound Pollyanna-ish, but I actually feel pretty good right now. Things are happening and my life is moving forward with new work and new options. I'm still wrestling with some sadness and loss, but I don't really feel as grieved as one might think. D and I are are getting along well, even meeting for lunch from time to time, and when I see him I feel enormous affection but very little "tug". He is a good, decent man, and someone I care about a great deal. I think we'll be able to have a friendly relationship when all this simmers down. And now when I think about it, that is probably what we should have been all along - good friends, not mates. He's a great guy. Just not, I now think, the one for me.
Anyway, that's Liz's Summer 2006 Recap.
TOM FUCKING WAITS.
Tom Waits last night. Tom Waits in Asheville at the Thomas Wolfe Auditorium. Tom Waits singing like God with bronchitis, Tom Waits moving on stage like God's own demented marionnette. Right in front of me. Right there. I still can't believe it.
It felt like being baptized.
1. Elaborate on your default icon.
A pin up by Art Frahm - one of the few he did that doesn't involve a woman unexpectedly losing her big pink panties in public.
2. What's your current relationship status?
Legally married but separating.
3. Ever have a near-death experience?
No, but I've had odd encounters with presences and a lot of conversational dreams with the dead.
4. Name an obvious quality you have.
I'm clever but scatterbrained.
5. What's the name of the song that's stuck in your head right now?
"We Can Work it Out" - no comment on my relationship status, it's what my daughter was playing in her room this morning, the Beatles-tribute soundtrack from "I Am Sam". She loves it.
6. Any celeb you would marry?
Alan Rickman, or Ciaran Hinds, or Michael Chiklis. Although really, I'd rather just have a scorching affair until I discover whether or not they're secretly batshit-crazy.
7. Who will cut and paste this first?
8. Has anyone ever said you look like a celebrity?
When I was little, people said I looked like Julie Andrews. In college and just after, I used to get either Gillian Anderson or Kate Winslet. An old friend said that Rose McGowan reminded him of me, but I don't see it. What's really weird is that I found old photos of my grandmother a few years back and she looked exactly like Gillian Anderson.
9. Do you wear a watch? What kind?
Not for a long time. I keep track with my phone.
10. Do you have anything pierced?
Four in my left ear, two in my right. Two of them were self inflicted in high school with an ice cube and a needle, and are resultingly crappy. I only wear two earrings these days. I also had my nose pierced, but it's long since closed up. I'd like to get a below the waist piercing, because it seems fun and it's one I could get away with under my grown up office drag.
11. Do you have any tattoos?
I know what I'm going to get and I know the artist I want to design it, but I need to save some money and drop a few pounds first.
12. Do you like pain?
Not really, aside from stuff like worrying a hangnail or fiddling with a sore spot. I like to be petted and groomed - I'm like a kitty-whore in that respect. If I've got a headache, it's sometimes soothing to have my hair tugged just a little bit.
13. Do you like to shop?
Clothes shopping bores the crap out of me. I like shopping for books.
14. What was the last thing you paid for with cash?
A pack of cigarettes. Yeah, bad me.
15. What was the last thing you paid for with your credit card?
16. Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone?
My friend Brad.
17. What is on your desktop background?
I haven't personalized my new Mac yet, so it's a preloaded background of rocks and mist in black and white. I like it. My old computer had wallpaper from Firefly/Serenity.
18. What is the background on your cell phone?
The same background that came with it, some Alltel girl holding a phone.
19. Do you like redheads?
I'm a semi-redhead myself. I have a tinge from my grandmother, who was a true auburn, and I enhance it. I like red on women, not so much on men - don't know why, I know that's weird.
20. Do you know any twins?
I married a twin.
21. Do you have any weird relatives?
I have quirky relatives. I adore them. My family is my lodestone. Now, as for my in-laws, they are also an odd bunch.
22. What was the last movie you watched?
The Merchant of Venice with Al Pacino.
23. What was the last book you read?
An old Hellblazer and Eve Ensler's new book "The Good Body". I'm in the middle of "Kushiel's Scion" right now.